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New Law Would Force Elon Musk to Be Drug Tested for His Government Work
Congressional Democrats want unelected billionaire and ketamine enthusiast Elon Musk to be regularly and randomly drug-tested. In a statement announcing the bill, New Jersey Democrat Mikie Sherrill said that the...
Tesla Investors Suddenly Terrified as They Realize Musk Has Dug Their Grave
Tesla's horrendous first quarter numbers has some of its backers rethinking a few things. Namely, their CEO Elon Musk, whose once immense starpower is now inverting on itself. Still haunted...
Gamers Panic as Tariffs Poised to Spike Prices for Gaudy RGB PC Components
President Donald Trump's baffling escalation of his trade war has bodychecked international markets and is expected to leave countless industries with major bruises. Americans, in particular, will bear the brunt...
SpaceX Tourist Says Whole Crew Got Horribly Sick When They Reached Orbit
SpaceX launched its Fram2 private astronaut mission from NASA's Kennedy Space Center on Monday. Soon after, a crew of four astronauts on board the Crew Dragon vehicle entered a highly...
Another Young Bodybuilder Just Suddenly Died
At just 44 years old, actor and weightlifting influencer Vittorio Pirbazari has died — the second young bodybuilder to pass away suddenly in a single month. According to People magazine,...
Space Tourists Startled to Discover That From Space, Antarctica Looks Pretty Much Like You'd Expect
After becoming the first humans to fly over the Earth's poles in space, a crew of private astronauts — or space tourists — report that the world's southernmost continent is...
Something's Gone Wrong With Microsoft's Huge AI Data Center Investments
Data centers are everywhere. As the world's tech companies demand more compute power to make their software run, the facilities have popped up in every corner of the planet. They...
You’ll Never Guess What Happened to Trump’s Meme Coin After He Announced His Tariffs
We didn't think it was possible, but somehow, Donald Trump's eponymous meme coin is worth less than ever in the wake of his tariffs finally being launched. Less than 24...
It's Interesting How Truth Social Moved to Sell Stock Right Before Trump's Tariffs Were Announced
Just before announcing a major escalation in his tariff war, which was followed by a major stock market wipeout on Thursday, president Donald Trump freed up the sale of his...
Trump's Tariffs Are a Bruising Defeat for the AI Industry
If you follow tech stocks with any regularity, there's probably one thing on your mind today: President Donald Trump's tariffs. Yesterday, Trump announced his long-teased "reciprocal tariffs" on foreign imports...
Trump's Tariffs Are Brutalizing the Crypto Industry
Donald Trump's sweeping tariffs have scythed through all sectors of the economy — including crypto, a market that the sitting president was hailed as a savior of. On Thursday, the...
Astronaut Insists the Mushrooms He's Growing in Space Are "Not the Ones You’re Thinking"
A crypto billionaire and a filthy rich ketamine user have launched a psychedelic trip to the stars — stop us if you've heard this one before. We promise it's not...
Trump Tariffs Show Signs of Being Written by AI
President Donald Trump has announced what he claims to be a "reciprocal" ten percent tariff plan on most goods being imported into the US, affecting over 100 countries. A smaller...
Japan Deploys Entire 3D-Printed Train Station
Incredible things have been happening in Japan for decades. This is the country that gave us karaoke bars, sushi conveyors, and square watermelon — not to mention those high-tech toilets....
Tesla Stock Is Soaring for the Funniest Possible Reason
For the first time in forever, Tesla stock is on the rise — and it seems mighty coincidental that it happened the exact same day that news broke of Elon...
Scientists Recover Underwater Camera Designed to Snap Photos of Loch Ness Monster
In 1970, a cryptid-obsessed placed several cameras inside plastic trap boxes and sent them down to the depths of Scotland's Loch Ness in hopes of catching its storied monster —...
Tinder Deploys AI-Powered Singles That Automatically Shoot Down Your Rizzless Attempts at Flirtation
Tinder has teamed up with OpenAI to bring an AI voice-activated flirting game to the dating app — and it's somehow way more cringe than you could imagine. As the...
An AI Model Has Officially Passed the Turing Test
One of the industry's leading large language models has passed a Turing test, a barometer of assessing if AI models can exhibit human-like intelligence. In a new preprint study awaiting...
Government Seeking Wild Punishment for Man Accused of Vandalizing Tesla Dealership
Since Elon Musk took the mantle of power thanks to Donald Trump, the Tesla has become a universal site of protest symbol of oligarchy around the world. In the US,...
Trump Reportedly Looking to End Elon Musk's Role in the Government
Political Liability Now that he's done irreparable damage to the federal government, billionaire Elon Musk is reportedly stepping back in the coming weeks as the head of the so-called Department...